Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
