All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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