called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
