yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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