covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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