mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize