yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize