I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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