and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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