So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.