I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.