You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.