God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
