Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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