after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As shirtless as possible
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
