dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
