Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
