so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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