I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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