hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
