I'm going to jail i love you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
