Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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