i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
