Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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