We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
