I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
