pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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