He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
