she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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