She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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