I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
