Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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