im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize