dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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