let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
