im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
