is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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