Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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