were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
