I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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