Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
