New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
