I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
