$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you would pick up someone in the library
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
