i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize