Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
