My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
