We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
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this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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