I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
