just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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