best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
