I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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