I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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