I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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