Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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