it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
