in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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