do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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