I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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